Category: Transitions

Posted in Key Stage 2 Support, Mental Health, SATs, Transitions, Uncategorized, Year 6

Three clues that your child is suffering from anxiety (and three ways to help them)

Posted on by Sharon Grimshaw

Anxiety is a bitch.  I used to have a mug with that on and it’s still true!  As adults, anxiety can really impact the quality of our lives, and many of us need help to manage being anxious at times – whether that’s professional therapy, medication, or being able to talk things through with a partner or friend.  We can recognise our anxiety and the effects it has on us.

Children may lack the vocabulary or experience to explain to us that they are anxious, so this is where you need to channel your inner Sherlock Holmes and be a detective!  Here are three clues that your child might have anxiety.

Physical Clues:

  • Feeling sick/vomiting
  • Tummy aches/diarrhoea
  • Headaches

Have you ever felt sick before an exam or an interview?  Me too!  The chemical signals that flood our body when we are anxious can make our body react by giving us physical symptoms.  It’s exactly the same for our kids!  If your child regularly complains of physical symptoms like these, it’s worth while keeping a record of when these happen.  Is it before school?  Is it on a certain school day?  Is it before going shopping?  Before going to a social event?  If there is a connection – there’s your place to start narrowing down what is causing the anxiety.

Sleep Clues

  • Insomnia
  • Early waking
  • Waking in the night
  • Nightmares
  • Bed-wetting
  • Being resistant to going to bed

It’s not just toddlers that can struggle with bedtimes!  Whilst changes in sleep routine can be indicative of a growth spurt or hormone surge (I see you, parents of pre-teens!) it may be caused by anxiety. 

Behaviour Clues

  • Increased aggression
  • Tearful episodes
  • Being short-tempered
  • A lack of interest in activities they normally enjoy
  • being restless
  • A loss of appetite or increased appetite
  • Needing to be in control of activities
  • Getting in trouble at school
  • Becoming withdrawn

A change in behaviour is your child communicating that there’s something amiss.  As adults, we change our behaviour if we are anxious or worried – If I’m worried about something, I often don’t want to talk, or I get irritable at things that normally wouldn’t bother me!  And it’s the same for our children.  If your child changes their behaviour, it’s time to put Sherlock’s deerstalker on again!

There are lots of things that can cause anxiety.  Some of these can come from outside sources – the big one for all of us recently is the Covid-19 pandemic.  Some causes can come from inside our children – the desire to do well at school, or be part of a particular friendship group.  We need to look at what the cause or causes of the anxiety might be.

The media

Events on the news may worry our children.  We haven’t had a news report for over a year that hasn’t had some mention of the Covid-19 pandemic.  Social media can create unrealistic expectations for how they should look, or what they should be doing.

Bullying

Bullying can take many forms, from ignoring your child to physical harm.  It can be in school, on the way there or the way home, or over electronic devices.  Fear of reprisals may make a child reluctant to tell a teacher or you about what’s happening.

Transitions and Life Changes

Changing to a new school year, changing schools, going to high school, moving house, a new sibling, exams (or in the last two years, lack of them), divorce, puberty – all of these are huge life changes and can be a source of worry.

Overwhelm

School is, by its very nature, demand orientated.  Spellings to be learned, concepts to grasp, work to complete on time.  Most schools emphasise attendance and will have lots of information telling you how important it is to be in school.  However, all of our children have missed out on attending school for long periods of time during the pandemic.  There is currently a lot of talk of ‘catch up’ and this can be overwhelming for many children.  Many children are taking assessments within school over the next few weeks that will be very similar to exams – click HERE for ideas to deal with that stress!

There may be other areas that are causing overwhelm too:  the relaxation of lockdown is opening up opportunities to meet family and friends and even when these opportunities are normally enjoyable, they may be overwhelming too.

So what can we do about it?  Here’s three things to help!

Listen without judgment

Knowing that you won’t tell them they are being silly, or that you are going to get angry with them will give them confidence to tell you more.  Even if you feel like their worries are over something small or insignificant, it isn’t small or insignificant to them!  Let them know that their emotions are valid and how they feel is important. 

Give them some control

Involving them in decisions on how you can help them.  Ask them what they think will help.  Can you talk with them to a teacher to see what is happening at school?  Has there been a specific incident that has upset them?  What could you do together to solve it?

Encouragement and affirmation

Let them know it’s ok to be worried, and everyone reacts in different ways.  Tell them that your love and support isn’t conditional on them being a certain way – you know this, but our kids need to hear it A LOT!  Give plenty of encouragement and support when they are doing something they find difficult. You might like to create a Rainbows and Rainclouds jar so they can write or draw something good about the day, or something that worried them that day to place in the jar – I’ve got a great free printable HERE that you can use!

And finally, if your child’s anxiety doesn’t seem to be easing or is getting worse, talk to your child’s teacher and your GP.  There are a number of organisations that can help children (and parents and carers) and you can find a great list of them here:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/for-children-and-young-people/useful-contacts/

Phew!  That was a long one!   Do let me know if this has been helpful.  Hop on over to Instagram or Facebook and let me know what has worked to help anxiety in your kids.

Posted in Transitions, Uncategorized

Six Things To Know About Transition Days in Key Stage 2!

Posted on by Sharon Grimshaw

What the chuff are transition days?

These are the days that your Superstar Student will spend with their new teacher and their new classmates in the coming half term to give them a taster of what their school life will be like as they move up a year.

Teacher, meet Superstar. Superstar, meet Teacher!

This is a chance for the new teacher to get to know your child! They will have seen the assessments and know what academic level your child has reached in maths and English. They’ve probably talked to your child’s previous teacher! But often they haven’t met your child before, or at the very least, not taught them. This is their chance to find out how confident they are, how they get on with other students, and begin to build a relationship with them.

It’s also a chance for your child to experience the expectations their new teacher has for them – all teachers have different personalities and teaching styles.

Superstars… meet each other!

If your child is moving from Year 2 to 3, or Year 3 to 6, there is a strong possibility that they are going to a bigger school and there will be children from their year from other schools. This is a chance for them to get to know each other before being thrown together in September. It’s a chance to make new friends, and – let’s be honest here – it’s a chance for them to find out the people that they don’t get on with as well.

If your child is going to a school away from their current friends, they are bound to be worried – schools are very aware of this, and often use transition days to put together a friendship group for them.

Get to know your way around!

New schools can be confusing places! During transition days, your child will learn where everything is – classrooms, libraries, where to eat lunch, and of course – where the toilets are!

Even moving within the same school to a different classroom can feel very unfamiliar. It’s a chance to settle in to a new classroom, which in Key Stage 2 will be their base for the next school year.

Learn the daily routine!

Moving to Year 3 from Year 2 will probably mean learning different daily routines. Learning where to line up, what to do during registration, when they can use the library, what time are breaks and lunchtimes – some or all of these may be different.

Many schools have staggered lunchtimes too – changing years may mean that your child goes to lunch earlier or later than the previous year. Changing lunchtimes from 12.00 to 12.30 was one of the most challenging things for me as an adult when I moved from working mainly with Year 3 and 4 to working with Years 5 and 6! I always made sure I had a snack at break time or my stomach would start to rumble – loudly – dead on 12.00!

Time to have some fun!

It might be art, it might be science – it might be introducing the first topic that they will cover in the coming first term. There will almost certainly some PE activities. There will definitely be some ‘getting to know you’ activities. All of these activities are designed to start building the relationships between your Superstar, their new teacher and their new classmates.

(And the most important reason…)

Fear of the unknown is a big thing for everyone, and our little people are no exception! Being able to meet teachers, classmates, spend time in new classrooms and new schools is a good way to ensure that they are as relaxed as possible about joining their new class or school in September – and then they can enjoy their summer holidays!

Remember – all schools should welcome additional contact with your child should he/she have ongoing worries about the new school year, so please don’t hesitate to ask to speak to the head teacher, your child’s new teacher, SENCo or welfare officers if you need to.

Here’s wishing you – and your Superstars – a fantastic last few weeks in their current class!

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Posted in Mental Health, Transitions, Uncategorized

5 Things Your Child Might Be Thinking About Their Next School Year…

Posted on by Sharon Grimshaw

… and how you can help!

It’s half term, summer is here, Year 6 SATs are over, surely our kids are breathing a sigh of relief and enjoying life, right?

There are many kids (mine are two of them!) who are looking towards the end of this school year with some trepidation. The end of the school year means change – change of class, change of teacher, change of classmates and for our Year 6 and Year 2 kids – change of school.

Here’s five things your kids might be worrying about – and how you can help!

I don’t know my new teacher…

Virtually all schools now run transitions days or weeks where children get to spend time with their new teacher in their new classroom. However, these days are often right at the end of the summer term – your child may be getting worried before then!

What you can do:

  • take a look at your school’s website or reception/office and look at the photographs of the staff. Chat to them about the different teachers they can see. How many do they know? What would they tell a new kid about the teacher they have had this year?
  • talk to your child’s teacher. They should be able to arrange for your child to meet teachers that they may have in the new school year.

The work will be too hard…

Schools are really good at sharing current work in displays around school, on their websites, and now even on social media! Our kids can look at this and think to themselves, “I’ll never be able to do THAT!”

This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure.

What you can do:

  • Remind your child that this work is what has been produced AT THE END of the school year – those children have learned a lot since September and probably wouldn’t have been able to produce that work at the beginning
  • Reassure your child that their new teacher will KNOW your kid’s abilities, strengths and weaknesses BEFORE the new school year starts – their current teacher will pass on LOTS of information to the new one!

I won’t be with my friends…

This is a tricky one. While teachers DO make an effort to make sure that every child has friends in class, if your child is being placed into ability groups (as is usual moving to a large secondary school), your child may not be placed with their best friend if they are of differing abilities. And sometimes, certain friendships might not be conducive to effective learning… I remember being split up from my best friend in my third year at Junior School because we just wouldn’t stop talking and distracting each other!

What you can do:

  • Reassure your child that they will get to see their friend at breaks and lunch times. You might want to arrange for them to see each other after school or at weekends so they can spend more time together
  • Remind them that you know how hard it is to make new friends sometimes, but they will get to know other people in their class
  • Talk to their current teacher – they can take friendship groups into consideration when new classes are being organised

I won’t be able to find my way around…

This was a huge worry for The Teen when he was in Year 6 and getting ready to transition to High School. He has the directional ability of a drunk bluebottle, so I admit I was a tad concerned too!

What you can do:

  • make sure your child goes to transition days – the high school The Teen goes to now does a whole transition week, where the Year 6 kids spend five days in with their new form tutor. They learn their way around as a group, and by the end of the week feel much more confident.
  • most schools are happy for you and your child to visit the school after school hours so you can look round again – this is often REALLY useful if your child feels intimidated by the sheer size of some of the students! Most Year 10 and 11s tower over me, let alone The Tween!

I might get bullied…

This one is very, very common. Our lovely Year 6 kids going to high school or Year 2 kids going to Junior school are used to being THE BIGGEST KIDS in their school. They are the big fish in the little ponds, and going back to being the youngest again is daunting. ALL SCHOOLS should now have a policy on bullying, and should be proactive in making sure it doesn’t happen – but it still can.

What you can do:

  • Check out the new school’s policy on dealing with bullying – it should be on their website, and if not, contact the school office and ask for a copy.
  • Find out who you need to talk to if your child is bullied – I found The Teen’s Year 7 form tutor and the head of year both fantastic to talk to, and very effective at dealing with a particular issue The Teen had. Make sure your child knows who this person is!
  • Stay calm – sometimes our kids worry that we will go storming in, protecting our beloved babies roaring like a lion – and they feel we would make the situation worse. Even when you are spitting bullets, keeping calm is essential when both TALKING ABOUT and DEALING WITH bullying.
  • Reassure your child that IF bullying happens, you will work with them to deal with it.

Check out the blog post about SATs stress and anxiety to find other ways that may help your child if they are anxious about September HERE.

I’d love to know how your kids are feeling about the new school year in September! Hit me up on Facebook here or on Instagram here – or leave me a comment below!